Individual, Family Therapy & Group Therapy, West Hollywood
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
The Psychology Of Anger
September 26, 2017
"Anger is what we hold onto when pain is too hard to handle." -morethanOKla⠀ ⠀ Anger is a secondary emotion, meaning we revert to it in order to avoid or protect ourselves from other, more vulnerable feelings. ⠀ ⠀ As therapists I am often guilty of over-asking "I'm curious what's lying underneath that anger?" - which is my way of prodding to see what might have fueled that anger. ⠀ ⠀ Another way to think about it is when someone cuts you off in traffic. Our response is sometimes an angry steam of profanities... But underneath that, there's often fear -the terror that we could have been hurt, or, even worse, hurt someone else. When given the options, anger seems a much more positive experience than that of fear. ⠀ ⠀
Anger gives us a sense of agency, some power and strength to maybe flip the other driver off. Anger simply feels better than fear, and a whole host of other feelings. ⠀ ⠀ Make an appointment to discover more when you're ready to explore what's underneath the surface- you may not like what you see, but there's a chance it will bring you some relief.